Thursday, April 7, 2011

Who pays for the date?

Who pays for the date?

I have had this little discussion with a few friends, either in the dating game and ones already shackled down, “Who pays for the date?”

Even in our ever so forward women power society the answer was unanimous “He Does!”


Here is the thing, I feel extremely uncomfortable whenever someone else pays for me. It doesn’t matter if it is a friend, a family member or a date. It doesn’t matter if it is for my birthday or just because, I feel uncomfortable. I have fought over the bill with friends who have insisted on paying. But friends and family are easy, I will return the favor for certain.

What about at a club?

To be honest I feel uncomfortable when a man buys me a drink at a club. I always feel like I owe him $7 worth of time. If I like you, I will talk to you. You do not need to buy my attention. It is nice, really nice, but I feel it makes the ‘conversation’ forced. And believe me it also offends men, when I refuse to let them buy me a drink. It may be perceived as rejection.

What about on a first date?

This is kind of iffy. This is where I slip a bit and kind of think that the guy should be in charge of financing the first date. I don’t know why but I do. Oh and of course I offer to split the bill every single time. I am fully willing to pay my share, even more so if I know there won’t be a second date.

What about date 2+?

We are now talking relationship. Well anything past 3 dates is like a long term relationship in my books given my track record.
This is where I can’t accept anything but pulling my own weight. I feel that we should alternative. And it could be as simple as one of us cooking a nice dinner or picking up the movie tickets. I have to contribute. I become extremely uncomfortable if I don’t. I don’t think it is fair and my strong beliefs in equality kick in. It is at this point that I differ from the people I had my discussions with. Even if I can’t afford it, I still have to be on equal grounds.

Now if he is a millionaire, well pick up the tab please! And I may just order the best thing on the menu!

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