I Almost Quit...

I almost quit.

I got really frustrated yesterday after I added up all of the debt I owe. I felt extremely sad as I saw my homeownership dream evaporate and going back to school seem like a dream.
Mainly now that I will not be able to earn the side income I was hoping to in 2011.
Mainly because I am very tired.
I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about it. I had to really push myself to believe that I will be ok.
I feel like I am in a deeper mess than I should be in. I feel like I am spinning my wheels and worse that I am going backwards.

The main reason is that I am trying to do three things at once. Get out of debt, save for a home and save for school. This is in my nature to have absolutely no patience and push for everything now. This is really wearing me down right now.

I got very mad and decided that I was going to stop. Stop everything. Stop writing about it. Give up. I am just not getting anywhere.

I took a deep breath and prepared my budget once again. I felt that once again I am setting myself up for failure. I narrowed down to two goals: debt reduction and school.

I had to take a pill to calm me down so that I could sleep.

This morning I decided to be down to one goal and that is debt reduction.

I have a new budget. A new budget that puts money to savings RRSP (slowly building up my saving towards school) and putting money away for things I want to do: travel, classes and the rest goes to debt. One focus. One step at a time. I will try to employ the method of paying the lowest balance first and rolling it over to the next highest balance. This way I will see progress faster and actually feel like I am accomplishing something.

The new budget does not include the side income I am pulling in right now, which means it will be the cherry on top. Allowing me to spend on ‘life’ or throw towards debt depending on what I have on my plate at that time.

The only thing I am not going to do is map it out to see how long it will take me to finish. I can’t look at how long that timeline is, I am going to focus on it one month at a time for now.